Traveling/living and working in Latin America for a long time has made me comfortable hugging everyone but I must admit the kiss strikes deep fear into my cold American midwestern soul!
Oh no! Don’t be scared! I think—especially after COVID—Spaniards are much more used to kissing less (see Cris’s comment about it), and they won’t judge you harshly if you politely extend a hand and start talking about long winters and limbs lost to frostbite. Come to Spain! It will be fun.
I am definitely coming next May for a conference in Barcelona! I’ve only been to Spain once, Madrid almost 20 years ago, so I’m so excited! And will do my best to remember these notes 🤣
Thanks for the delightful DL on the TKG! Though this did give me flashbacks to the MANY faux pax I've committed when greeting in different countries--these days I try to just pick up on whatever cues someone is offering, and hope they're nice if/when I mess it up!
Yep, greetings don’t get any easier. Sometimes I end up in a mini-meeting just to decide how we’re going to greet each other—like, “Wanna hug?” “Sure!” Luckily, this usually happens with expats or travelers who’ve had plenty of experience navigating confusing greeting etiquette.
A very useful guide! During my time teaching in Spain (actually in the Basque Country), some of my students would kiss me before and/or after class, some didn't, it got a bit confusing, but I just sort of went with the flow and if there were any mixups or faux pas, we always laughed about it.
I've got into 'trouble' though, when trying to work out the etiquette with other nationalities. With a Swedish friend I hadn't seen in a while, we got our signals crossed and a kiss on the cheek turned into an accidental real proper kiss! It was kind of nice, to be honest (but never happened again 😭)
Thank you for your comment, Daniel! Yep, watching two foreigners try to greet each other while in a third country is always great fun.
I’m curious, were they one-on-one classes? Because otherwise, kissing before and after sounds a bit excessive. But in individual classes, I can totally see it.
They were group classes actually, and not all of the students did it. I'm very laid-back, not terribly serious, so there was never much formality or awkwardness. I just waited for them to take the lead and soon enough I knew who wanted kisses and who didn't. But they were always the initiators.
Funnily enough, I had a 1-1 class with a lovely woman and we never exchanged kisses. But that might be because it was in her office and she was the CEO!
Loved this piece, Marina! I get your point, kisses can be lovely, warm, and very Spanish. But let me gently offer the perspective of a happily "anti besos" from Madrid (Spain)
Something I quietly appreciated during the COVID years was the sudden pause in the constant kissing routine with colleagues, people I barely know, and every friend-of-a-friend. Honestly, not being kissed by surprise at 9am meetings? Genuinely liberating. It was an unexpected discovery that I didn’t know I needed, but once it happened, I loved it. It felt like claiming a little piece of personal space I hadn’t even realized was missing.
These days, I throw my hand out for a handshake faster than you can say "hi". And luckily, I work with a few fellow northerners who share the no-kiss ethos. Some of us have never kissed, can you believe it? :-D
Also: when men start kissing each other in formal settings as much as women get kissed, I promise I’ll reconsider. Until then, handshake squad forever!
Still, I loved reading your take and laughed out loud. But please, Marina, allow me to kindly discourage visitors to Spain from kissing wildly unless they really want to. Better to wait and see how the other person reacts , you might end up trying to kiss someone as awkward (and lovingly anti-besos) as me 😂
Thanks for your comment, Cris! I feel you. As an expat, not having to kiss everyone all the time is kind of a relief. Personally, I’m not bothered by the intimacy of the kissing itself, but I do sometimes dread the cumbersome nature of the whole thing.
I appreciate your contribution as a lovingly anti-besos Spaniard, and I’m sure it’ll be helpful for our guiri friends!
Hi! New reader here! I enjoyed reading this! I lived in Spain for a year (2009-2010) (and a summer in 2006). Life hasn't taken me back there since, but Spain will always hold a dear place in my heart. I remember that summer of 2006, kissing my host mom's actual cheek and instantly somehow knowing I did it wrong, haha. Thanks for the kissing guide. :)
I am also a 40 year old mom of two, looking forward to reading more of your stories! ✨
Aw, thanks, Christina! Where in Spain did you live?
For what it’s worth, I’ve given at least two accidental neck kisses in my life thanks to greeting ambiguity, so I can totally relate to the awkwardness!
Thanks again for your kind words, and I’ll see you around.
Oh, and I don’t know how old your children are (mine are six and two), but hang in there! (I think hang in there is universally helpful for every parent out there)
Then you can relate to the way they complement each other to make life… interesting for their parents! I’m convinced mine arrange shifts behind our backs!
It's funny, my dad used to bring me with him at work once in a while and introduced me to his colleagues by shaking hands. Ever since I do in every business environment.
Now I only TKG when I am in Spain, not even with Spanish expat fellows!
Traveling/living and working in Latin America for a long time has made me comfortable hugging everyone but I must admit the kiss strikes deep fear into my cold American midwestern soul!
Oh no! Don’t be scared! I think—especially after COVID—Spaniards are much more used to kissing less (see Cris’s comment about it), and they won’t judge you harshly if you politely extend a hand and start talking about long winters and limbs lost to frostbite. Come to Spain! It will be fun.
I am definitely coming next May for a conference in Barcelona! I’ve only been to Spain once, Madrid almost 20 years ago, so I’m so excited! And will do my best to remember these notes 🤣
Thanks for the delightful DL on the TKG! Though this did give me flashbacks to the MANY faux pax I've committed when greeting in different countries--these days I try to just pick up on whatever cues someone is offering, and hope they're nice if/when I mess it up!
Yep, greetings don’t get any easier. Sometimes I end up in a mini-meeting just to decide how we’re going to greet each other—like, “Wanna hug?” “Sure!” Luckily, this usually happens with expats or travelers who’ve had plenty of experience navigating confusing greeting etiquette.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
A very useful guide! During my time teaching in Spain (actually in the Basque Country), some of my students would kiss me before and/or after class, some didn't, it got a bit confusing, but I just sort of went with the flow and if there were any mixups or faux pas, we always laughed about it.
I've got into 'trouble' though, when trying to work out the etiquette with other nationalities. With a Swedish friend I hadn't seen in a while, we got our signals crossed and a kiss on the cheek turned into an accidental real proper kiss! It was kind of nice, to be honest (but never happened again 😭)
Thank you for your comment, Daniel! Yep, watching two foreigners try to greet each other while in a third country is always great fun.
I’m curious, were they one-on-one classes? Because otherwise, kissing before and after sounds a bit excessive. But in individual classes, I can totally see it.
They were group classes actually, and not all of the students did it. I'm very laid-back, not terribly serious, so there was never much formality or awkwardness. I just waited for them to take the lead and soon enough I knew who wanted kisses and who didn't. But they were always the initiators.
Funnily enough, I had a 1-1 class with a lovely woman and we never exchanged kisses. But that might be because it was in her office and she was the CEO!
Loved this piece, Marina! I get your point, kisses can be lovely, warm, and very Spanish. But let me gently offer the perspective of a happily "anti besos" from Madrid (Spain)
Something I quietly appreciated during the COVID years was the sudden pause in the constant kissing routine with colleagues, people I barely know, and every friend-of-a-friend. Honestly, not being kissed by surprise at 9am meetings? Genuinely liberating. It was an unexpected discovery that I didn’t know I needed, but once it happened, I loved it. It felt like claiming a little piece of personal space I hadn’t even realized was missing.
These days, I throw my hand out for a handshake faster than you can say "hi". And luckily, I work with a few fellow northerners who share the no-kiss ethos. Some of us have never kissed, can you believe it? :-D
Also: when men start kissing each other in formal settings as much as women get kissed, I promise I’ll reconsider. Until then, handshake squad forever!
Still, I loved reading your take and laughed out loud. But please, Marina, allow me to kindly discourage visitors to Spain from kissing wildly unless they really want to. Better to wait and see how the other person reacts , you might end up trying to kiss someone as awkward (and lovingly anti-besos) as me 😂
Thanks for your comment, Cris! I feel you. As an expat, not having to kiss everyone all the time is kind of a relief. Personally, I’m not bothered by the intimacy of the kissing itself, but I do sometimes dread the cumbersome nature of the whole thing.
I appreciate your contribution as a lovingly anti-besos Spaniard, and I’m sure it’ll be helpful for our guiri friends!
Hi! New reader here! I enjoyed reading this! I lived in Spain for a year (2009-2010) (and a summer in 2006). Life hasn't taken me back there since, but Spain will always hold a dear place in my heart. I remember that summer of 2006, kissing my host mom's actual cheek and instantly somehow knowing I did it wrong, haha. Thanks for the kissing guide. :)
I am also a 40 year old mom of two, looking forward to reading more of your stories! ✨
Aw, thanks, Christina! Where in Spain did you live?
For what it’s worth, I’ve given at least two accidental neck kisses in my life thanks to greeting ambiguity, so I can totally relate to the awkwardness!
Thanks again for your kind words, and I’ll see you around.
Oh, and I don’t know how old your children are (mine are six and two), but hang in there! (I think hang in there is universally helpful for every parent out there)
I lived in Madrid! Loved it there. I'm now living right outside NYC in the suburbs. :)
My kids are 6 and 3, nearly the same age as yours!
Then you can relate to the way they complement each other to make life… interesting for their parents! I’m convinced mine arrange shifts behind our backs!
It's funny, my dad used to bring me with him at work once in a while and introduced me to his colleagues by shaking hands. Ever since I do in every business environment.
Now I only TKG when I am in Spain, not even with Spanish expat fellows!